Posted in Family

When relationships go bad, “Kids” must be protected

In the space of 1 week, I managed to travel forward in time to see the impact of something that happened in the past, and to see how something that is happening now, may end up being the future.  Confused?  I bet!


Here’s how it worked out.  Two weeks ago a good friend of mine decided to quit football coaching due to personal reasons.  I knew he had been having problems with his wife and with the pressure of his 4 kids, it was becoming all too much.  Then a few days later I heard that their relationship had been going sour for quite a while and that finally the kids asked him to leave.

Fast forward to yesterday, I bumped into an old neighbour who had split from his wife after years of fighting (and cheating).  He mentioned to me yesterday that his eldest son had been expelled from school for continuous bad behaviour.  Unfortunately, the bad atmosphere and environment very much contributed to this situation, a total disregard on the part of the parents.

Move back in time. I spoke to my friend two days back and told him that in all this, I felt very sorry for their 4 kids.  These are lovely kids and one can only imagine the stress they must be feeling and how they are so unaware of what a difficult path they have ahead of them in all this.

It’s so important, no, actually, imperative that couples accept their situation and work amicably to ensure that the impact on children is minimal as possible.  My friend commented how he wants to move abroad for a while to get his head clear.  My advice was that this would be a wrong move, that he needs to be somewhere within reach, just in case. 

When there are children, it means responsibility to the very end.  Our regard for their welfare ends when we breathe our last breath.

Image courtesy of



Someone trying to rip through the normality of life and expand a few horizons.

3 thoughts on “When relationships go bad, “Kids” must be protected

  1. I totally agree with you, but I also think he may need to take a small vacation to re-energize himself to the speak. He can’t be of use to anyone if he can’t even be of use to himself. Should he movie away permanently? NO. Those children will need him more than he knows. Wonderful topic and post. When there’s kids involved, everything has to be taken care of 10x more.

  2. I do not know if you have kids or either Babygirl does, but although I agree with both of you, as a parent, I know it is very difficult to keep kids out of the problems that adults have. Plus, I do not think it would be fair to hide bad stuff from the kids either, to inform them about the plans for divorce when they can handle the news. I know a person whose parents had been creating the illusion of a happy family for her first 18 years of her life and then told her that they had been staying together for her sake only. Devastating – she had to deal with the divorce and the fact that both of her parents had been lying to her all her life.
    Parenting is not an easy thing thing to do. Being a child is not easy either.

    1. Hi,

      Yes I have two young children. I agree, keeping children totally in the dark is not right, but that decision could depend on their age. Also agree, that must have been a shock for the girl, to almost feel that she has been lied to for all tha time.

      I guess in truth, each situation needs to be taken on it’s own accord.

      Parenting is not easy….Comprimise, comprimise, comprimise…


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