I came across the following podcast during my random scanning through an app I use. Found it quite interesting so wanted to share with you all.
You can find the podcast 10 ways to have a better conversation on the Ted website (2015) and watch/listen to it in full. Presented by Celeste Headlee, she identifies some interesting rules based on her own background and area of expertise (host/co-host of various programmes).
Two key phrases Celeste mentioned in her talk
There is no reason to learn how to show you’re paying attention, if you are in fact, paying attention
…it used to be that in order to have a polite conversation we just to follow the advice of Henry Higgins in “My Fair Lady”, stick to the weather and your health
Summary of her 10 basic rules:
(1) Don’t multitask – be present in the conversation, don’t be half in the conversation
(2) Don’t pontificate – the notion of expressing your opinion without wanting to hear a response. Enter every conversation with a view you have something to learn.
(3) Use open ended questions – if you put in a complicated question, expect a simple answer out. Put in a who, what, when, why and how – let the person describe it.
(4) Go with the flow – thoughts will come into your mind, let them go out of your mind. Don’t ask questions that have no relation to the speaker, just because you wanted to ‘get it in’.
(5) If you don’t know, say you don’t know – air on the side of caution and avoid claiming to be an expert in something you don’t. Don’t waffle!
(6) Don’t equate your experience with theirs – all experiences are different so try not to take centre stage of yours. In her words, ‘conversations are not a promotional activity’.
(7) Try not to repeat yourself – if you have a point to make, don’t keep repeating it over and over again. We tend to do that a lot with our kids.
(8) Stay out of the weeds – avoid struggling to come up with names and dates, the listener is not interested in that, they are interested in you.
(9) Listen – the most important skill. To paraphrase in the podcast ‘no man ever listened his way out of a job’. We tend not to listen because we like to talk. Stat: the average person tends to talk 225 words per minute; we can listen up to 500 words per minute. Takes effort and energy to listen to someone, if we can’t, then we are not in that conversation.
(10) Be brief – Keep your mouth shut as often as possible, and your mind open as much as possible.
Hope you enjoyed this, more #podcastsharing on its way.