Chronicles of an 8 (and a half) yr Old

My eldest son is eight and a half  and although for some time he has been coming out with some classic one liners, I never thought to record them.  So, here’s dedicating this section to his ever-growing vocab, status on life and all things around him.

19.08.11 – While doodling, my son draws a picture of an Army man with a machine gun and an evil snowman.  Scary what’s going through his mind. Dad to Son: What 3 things could the evil snowman do so he becomes a better person and doesn’t harm anyone. Son to Dad: Neutralise himself <more evil>

||Bit of a gap here, not that he hasn’t said anything, just that I have been off target lately and not made a note of his comments||

11.02.11 – Dad to Son: Please can you get out of bed otherwise we are going to be running late and you’ll have to hurry your breakfast. Son to Dad: Please leave a message after the tone.  <You have to laugh>

01.02.11 – Following the shock transfer of Torres to Chelsea, dad is faced with the task of what to do with son’s bedroom posters.  Dad to Son: So what shall we do with those posters? Son to Dad: We can throw them away. Dad to Son: How about your Torres Match Attax card? Son to Dad: Burn it! what passion.

25.01.11 – Son to dad: So when you going to play with me? Dad responds while reading book to little one: I think it’s time you started getting ready for bed. Son to dad: Oh, I don’t like you anymore.  Dad and son look at each other and burst out laughing.

12.01.11 – Dad to son: Do you know I am going to be 1/3 of a century this coming weekend, that’s another 2/3’s more to go in your company. Son to Dad: I don’t own any company mate. <Cheeky Sod>

10.01.11 – Talking to his aunt last night while at a Jimmy Spices Restaurant, you need to have a baby, his aunt responds, so what shall we do? He says, well you need to get fat first, so have a few chicken wings, 4 of those, a few pizza’s and some chips. Oh the age of innocence.

09.01.11Dad, can I watch X-files, because I really want to believe.  My response, aliens are already here son, just take a glance at your younger brother.

06.01.11 – having been informed he can only play his Xbox on weekends, one of his friends come over after school and wants to play the Xbox, his response, dad says I can only play on weekends.  Instruction understood, I was impressed.  The boys then went about creating havoc somewhere else in the house.

04.01.11 – he resists a routine test at the hospital, nurse asks him why he thinks she shouldn’t carry one out, his response, it’s my body and I know I am ok, nurse says, good answer, and then jabs him anyway!


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